Faith (Or lack thereof)

Abraham and his story keep coming up during my time in Ramah. As I reflect, even in the months leading up to Ramah Abraham’s faith journey came up. Each time Abraham is spoken of a great man of faith. He triumphantly walked a three-day journey to sacrifice his promised son and believed God would provide what he needed when he got there. We should do the same when God gives us a word. I totally agree!

God says to Abraham sacrifice your promised son. Abraham immediately sets out to do what God has said no matter how it looks. In the end, it works out! God sends a sacrifice in the form of a ram instead of Isaac and everything works out.

In my life, I do similar things. God says to me, Jasmine you are moving to Atlanta. Based on that word I apply to jobs in Atlanta. I talk with family about living with them. I research a church to attend. I believe God will provide because that is his word.  

As I reflect on the story and life of Abraham, I begin to see other aspects of his faith. I see complex layers. We tend to focus on this one story and neglect the other layers of his life. Abraham has faith but he also did his own thing. God told Abraham, “I'm going to give you a son.” Instead of believing this word and live in it, Abraham attempted to “control” the situation by having a son with Hagar. It ends up horribly. It was not the plan of God for Abraham to have a son with Hagar and ends up not being a great situation for either Hagar or her son. 

In my life, the same exact things happen. God tells me this man is my husband and I cannot control it so I try to take it in my own hands by dating other people, ignoring that person, and being disobedient in everything God tells me to do surrounding the situation. I can "control" those things. 

            Abraham is only bold when he can “control” the word God has given him (circumcising every male in his camp). Every step he could not he became a coward and tried to make his own way (lying about Sarah being his sister). I do this so much! I have never had to have real faith because every faith step I can influence I do. God says you are going to graduate school. Therefore, I apply and believe I will get in somewhere. I cannot go to school without applying so I can "control" the situation: what schools/cities I apply, what type of programs, etc. 

I must repent of this false faith.

           I realized that I should not be like Abraham. I want to have faith and be bold in every situation. Not just those I can control. I no longer want to be afraid in situations I cannot control and take matters in my own hands. I want to stay true to the word God has given me.