The Struggle
Paul says in Romans 7:15, "I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate." I know every Christian feels this way. Everything's going great then BAM it happens. Your "it" may be different from my "it." My "it" is my mouth. My entire life my mouth has gotten me in trouble. All my teachers said, "She's an excellent student, she just talks too much." You would think this would be an elementary school problem, but it wasn't. My assigned seat got moved in 12th grade for talking too much to my neighbor. That's how pitiful I was/still am most days. I have grown a lot in this area and don't say nearly as many crazy/rude/ridiculous/mean things as I used to.
But you know life happens... so this past Labor Day weekend, I did it again. I opened my mouth wide and said something I shouldn't have. The progression went something like this: I was rude; I realized it was uncalled for; I tried to apologize; the situation got worse. As I was reflecting on it and crawling back to God, he reminded me of the importance of dying daily. Daily I must submit myself to him and allow the Holy Spirit to take over.
I feel like I should tell the complete story... I had a few drinks in my system when I said what I said. I would have never said it if my defenses weren't down. I'm not saying it as an excuse. It's just the truth of the matter. My actions, intentionally or unintentionally, can block God from getting to me and holding my mouth back. There are times, where as I like to call it, I gleefully skip down the road to destruction. I ignore warning signs and cheerfully end up in a place where I don't want to be. Other times like that night I didn't skip down the road...I more like stumbled down it. I tried to do what was right, but it didn't happen that way.
God wants us to choose life every step of the way. At that moment, I didn't. I chose death. But each moment is a moment for improvement. I pray that as I begin to see the other "its" in my life that I chose life in those areas. That I no longer skip down the road to destruction but yield to warning signs and turn around.
Even when my mouth gets me in trouble, God is good y'all.
But you know life happens... so this past Labor Day weekend, I did it again. I opened my mouth wide and said something I shouldn't have. The progression went something like this: I was rude; I realized it was uncalled for; I tried to apologize; the situation got worse. As I was reflecting on it and crawling back to God, he reminded me of the importance of dying daily. Daily I must submit myself to him and allow the Holy Spirit to take over.
I feel like I should tell the complete story... I had a few drinks in my system when I said what I said. I would have never said it if my defenses weren't down. I'm not saying it as an excuse. It's just the truth of the matter. My actions, intentionally or unintentionally, can block God from getting to me and holding my mouth back. There are times, where as I like to call it, I gleefully skip down the road to destruction. I ignore warning signs and cheerfully end up in a place where I don't want to be. Other times like that night I didn't skip down the road...I more like stumbled down it. I tried to do what was right, but it didn't happen that way.
God wants us to choose life every step of the way. At that moment, I didn't. I chose death. But each moment is a moment for improvement. I pray that as I begin to see the other "its" in my life that I chose life in those areas. That I no longer skip down the road to destruction but yield to warning signs and turn around.
Even when my mouth gets me in trouble, God is good y'all.
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